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More than a joke book: Whether it's the Mafia, Russian Mob, Mexican Mob, or Yakusa, organized criminals have one thing in common; they are no laughing matter—until now. First time, all their wit, gaffes, and goof-ups are here.
"When the judge threw the book at me, I wish it had been The Official Book of Mob Humor."
— Louis Ferrante, former Gambino family associate and author of Mob Rules
"A book for all Mafia lovers. During my six years as an undercover FBI agent in the mob, I had many a laugh at the humor of gangsters. A must read."
— Joe Pistone aka Donnie Brasco
"The Official Book of Mob Humor has hilarious true stories about wise-guys and gangsters, plus lots of other funny stuff. I really got a kick out of it."
— Oscar Goodman, Las Vegas Mayor 1999-2011, former defense attorney for notorious U.S. crime figures
TABLE OF CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
1. Wise guy Wisdom
2. Headline Hits
3. Murder And Mayhem
4. It’s Just Business
5. Interrogation Room
6. Mob Women
7. The Mob Goes To The Movies
8. Mob Movie Quotes
9. A Mob Menagerie: Rats, Canaries and Stool Pigeons
10. You Can’t Make This Stuff Up
11. Nick Names And Other Word Play
12. More Headline Hits
13. Not So Wise Guys
INTRODUCTION
Investigators looking into the collapse of a building in New Jersey have made a major discovery. The collapse was caused by weak concrete purchased from the mob. They sold contractors diluted cement—too much sand and gravel, not enough whacked bodies.
Ba-da-boom. Or should I say Ba-da-bing?
Humor and the mob have a long history together. Wise guys have always been as well known for cracking jokes as cracking heads. Of course, ordinary, law-abiding citizens might not think their jokes are funny. But that’s all right. They have ways of making you laugh!
In this book, I’ve gathered a wide assortment of humor related to organized crime around the world—from the Yakuza and Triads in Asia to the Russian and Italian Mafia in Europe to the American mob in the United States. The type of humor is also varied. It ranges from quips, quotes and jokes to cartoons to real headlines and news stories. Want to know where I got this stuff? I ain’t talking. It fell off the back of the truck. And if you subpoena me, I’ll take the Fifth.
One thing I will say is this. Contrary to popular stereotype, organized crime in the U.S. has never been the exclusive domain of Italian– Americans. Since the Roaring Twenties, Jewish gangsters and Irish racketeers have been just as prominent as Mafia crime lords. And today, they’re joined by the Mexican Mafia, Russian Mafia and criminals from many other ethnic groups. America has always been a melting pot. And criminal activity is no exception.
Here’s the point. Cement has no skin color. If someone puts you in concrete boots and pushes you off a pier, you’re still going to be dead no matter who pushed you. You know what I’m saying?
So sit back. Relax. And discover the wit, wisdom and foibles of the mob. C’mon, I’m going to take you for a ride.
— Malcolm Kushner
Malcolm Kushner, "America' Favorite Humor Consultant," is an internationally acclaimed expert on humor and communication. He is the author of The Light Touch: How to Use Humor for Business Success, Public Speaking for Dummies, Vintage Humor For Wine Lovers and California Squisine: Healthy Food That’s Fast Fun And Squeezable For Kids. He is also the co– creator of a humor exhibit that appeared at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library.
Kushner has been profiled in Time Magazine, USA Today, The New York Times and The Washington Post. His television and radio appearances include CNN, C– SPAN, Fox & Friends, National Public Radio, CNBC, "Voice of America" and "The Larry King Show." The Wall Street Journal has called him “irrepressible.”
A popular speaker at corporate and association meetings, Kushner has keynoted everywhere from The Smithsonian Institution to the Inc. 500 Conferenc
